on this side of eternity

the more i try the harder i fall

2011-04-18T12:09:00.003+08:00

so i let go and let God do the work.

because the more i try, the harder i fail.

i rather not try, if i try i stop God. But if i don't i let him do a work in me. STOP TRYING

blood oranges

2011-04-04T10:11:00.001+08:00

i now have no more reasons to make blood orange gelato.

They are sitting in my fridge. probably growing mould.

or else, they've been thrown out.

my heart is heavy

2011-03-28T16:46:00.002+08:00

My heart is heavy oh Lord,

My heart is heavy

it feels like it's crying

and doesn't know how to stop.

we wait for time to pass

hoping it will heal like it said it would

but time and time again

things get harder days get longer.

my heart is heavy oh Lord,

my heart is heavy

let me drink again from your rivers of living water

let me bathe in your presence

i want to soak, to saturate to immerse myself

into the pool that is your presence

into the well of your vast and living water

clear and blue, crystal and pure.

reaching to the bottom looking at the bubbles leaving me

Lord, quench this thirst quench

sing to me as i slowly fall asleep.

blood orange gelato recipe

2010-11-25T16:01:00.006+08:00

Are blood oranges in season now in Australia?

Blood Orange Gelato

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon grated blood orange zest

2/3 cup sugar divided, 1 teaspoon and remaining

2/3 cup water

2 cups freshly squeezed blood orange juice

¼ cup freshly squeezed lemon juice

2/3 cup heavy (whipping) cream

Instructions:

Prepare a large bowl or pan or ice water

In a small bowl, mash the zest with 1 teaspoon of the sugar to release the oils

Combine the remaining sugar and water in a medium saucepan and bring to a boil, stirring to dissolve the sugar

Cook until the syrup is clear

Remove from the heat and stir in the juices and sugared zest

Immediately place the pan in the ice bath

Stir the mixture occasionally until it cools to room temperature

Transfer to a container and stir in the cream

Cover and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled, about 3 hours

Freeze in an ice cream maker

Transfer to a container, cover, and freeze until firm, about 2 hours

I suppose it's not point just putting it up.. i have to make it.. and TAKE photos too. crap.

Owl City "In Christ Alone"

2010-11-17T21:46:00.000+08:00

thanks to ian wei. sharing good songs is what friends do :)

New Heights - Peaches

2010-11-17T08:30:00.001+08:00

pretty awesome song from the jubilee project!

I would like a t-shirt with that print on it

web designers are awesome

2010-11-17T08:13:00.003+08:00

of course i wish i could be like them and speak the html language.

but that is one language that i would not understand even if i tried to learn it. Then again it is probably not impossible.

And today is cleaning room day, as i'm sure the next whole month would be as well.

I hope my nose doesn't get already flatter

ladder rungs

2009-05-08T08:50:00.002+08:00

here i am sitting up, and staring at the first rung, right infront of me.

I don't hurt anymore from the fall.

it's been a while

In fact, I don't remember even seeing this ladder here.

I've been flat on my back all this time

I look up to see where it goes

to see how high it reaches up to

I can't see the end

I can't climb this thing!

And then God's word, 'Not by might or by power, but by My Spirit', slides down

But I'm still sitting here, staring at the first rung.

My hands are reluctant to grab hold

My feet refuse to push me up to a stand

I'm not ready to climb. I don't have the stamina or the will power. What's wrong with the floor. What's wrong with where I am at now.

Oh. Right.

I'm blocking the way up.

Go first! I urge the others behind me. Don't let me stop you!

Some take the first rung, and they start to climb

I feel my hands reach out to pull them down

Just like a madras crab.

I slap myself.

What have I become.

I say a prayer, just because I feel like I should.

Nothing happens, as usual. 'Things don't happen immediately"

As always I tell myself.

I shut a door on the people behind me

occasionally opening it, to take a peep and ease my guilty conscience

of holding them up in the queue

And I close it back again and go back to lying down.

But now, here I am, staring at the first rung.

Someone help? Please?

Anyone.

The Velveteen Rabbit

2009-05-07T13:18:00.002+08:00

by Margery Williams

"What is real?" asked the rabbit one day. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you, and a stick out handle?"

"Real isn't how you were made," said the skin Horse, "it's a thing that happen to you. When a child loves you for a long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real. It doesn't happen all at once," said the skin horse. "You become. It takes a long time... Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.

But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand"

Without You

2008-10-18T13:45:00.004+08:00

from Rent

Without You, the ground thaws

The rain falls, the grass grows

Without You, the seeds root.

The flowers bloom, the children play

The stars gleam, the poets dream

The eagles fly, without You

The earth turns, the sun burns

But I die without You

Without You, the breeze warms

The girl smiles, the cloud moves

Without you, the tides change

The boys run, the oceans crash

The crowds roar, the days soar

The babies cry

Without You

The moon glows, the river flows

But I die without You

The world revives, colours renew

But I know blue, only blue

Lonely blue, within me blue

Without You

Without You, the hand gropes

The ear hears, the pulse beats

Without You, the eyes gaze

The legs walk, the lungs breathe

The mind churns, the heart yearns

The tears dry, without You

Life goes on, but I'm gone

Cause I die, without You

Without you

So I hear that people still read this. :) Why thank you very much. My heart is warmed.

That's where I want to be, the point where I die without you God

I want my heart to yearn, I know even without You, life goes on, but I seem to be losing more and more of myself. And I don't want that. I don't want to be without You.

The legs walk, the lungs breathe, but I die.

Without You.

i don't think anyone reads this

2008-08-26T17:50:00.002+08:00

well.. I can't exactly blame them because I never update!

Anyway, this was something I had been thinking about recently.

You know how I'm doing Hebrew, and every time I tell someone that I'm learning Hebrew, their first reaction is always, (big eyes, open mouth) "Really?!" Followed by 2 facial expressions. One of which is amazement and awe, the other one I won't mention.

haha :)

But more often than not, they would always ask me to say something in Hebrew. And being pretty much tired and slightly embarrassed of saying something of which they have absolutely no understanding of, I say "shalom". Which is something that pretty much is known to everyone in the Christian church. It means "peace", basically, or "Hello", and "Goodbye" depending on the context that you're using it in.

The next thing that they'll ask me to say or to teach them, is how to introduce oneself to people.

In Hebrew, this is pretty easy. You just say, directly translated from English, "I Christine".

Just because there isn't an "am" in Hebrew language.

In Hebrew, "I Christine" will sound like this "ah-ni, Kristin".

אני כריסטין

So if you're pronouncing that, you're reading it from left to right.

Then, this is the interesting bit.

The next thing that they ask is, "How do you say 'I love you'?"

Almost always, in whatever language when you are asking someone to teach you more, you'd ask that question, "How do you say 'I love you' ?"

Maybe it's just me, and it's just me, or just like me to want to, or would like to think that love really makes the world go round. But the next time you find someone learning a different language than that of which you know, think about it!

Or I could have most possibly jinxed the love revolution.

But then again, it's a good thing that I think hardly anyone reads this blog anymore.. (:

And if you do...

אני אוהבת אתם

(ah-ni o-hair-vet ah-tem)

Guess what I just said?

Yeap! I love you (you in the plural form)

(Just to make things clear)

and so I'm no longer mobile.

2008-07-13T00:24:00.003+08:00

Hokay, now that I've said that, it seems as though I'm paralyzed or something. But on the contrary! I'm pretty happy to be staying in one, and only ONE country, instead of moving up and down, back and forth, sitting in long, looong car rides, getting to far far destinations.

You know what, since I came back from Australia, I have yet to sleep in my own bed!

And tonight's going to be my first, so I shall mark this night with a blogpost! Woohoo! Celebration!

So, a log of all my travels and all the interesting things that I've seen and heard... ...

Shucks. I haven't been recording them down.

Maybe a log of the things I've bought?

...

Nahhh... too embarrassing.

O-KAY! A log of the movies I've watched.

Hancock

The Holiday

Mr. Bean's Holiday

Step Up 2

In hopes of finishing this post to commemorate the author's first night in her own bed since returning from melbourne, she, however, fell asleep. On her own bed, of course.

waking up, getting up, and moving on

2008-06-18T09:09:00.002+08:00

Last night, I went to sleep crying.

Unsure of what I should do.

This morning, I woke up empowered.

Determined to wake up, get up, and move on.

Reason?

The unconscious revelation of the grace of God, through a friend's devotion.

Ben Yap, thank God for you.

You said,

Isaiah 50:2

When I came, why was there no one?

When I called, why was there no one to answer?

Was my arm too short to rescue you?

Do I lack the strength to rescue you?

Nothing is too big for my God to rescue me from.

When He comes, I want to be there.

When He calls, I want to answer.

His arm is more than long enough to rescue me.

He is strong. He can rescue me.

light purple & dark chocolate

2008-05-25T18:03:00.002+08:00

you know what makes you fat in winter?

hot chocolate in a light purple mug, and dark chocolates on the side.

no, the colour of the mug doesn't make me fatter than if i had it in a blue one. It just so happens to be my biggest mug ever! And with special hot chocolate all the way from the US of A, that is one good light purple cup of hot chocolate.

Today's message in church was awesome! This pastor was speaking about how his church back in the UK felt like it was a virtual reality, and how he had to reinvent the church 10 years ago. Today their congregation number in the thousands.

but anyway.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONICA!!!! I love you!!!

not forgotten

2008-05-24T19:32:00.005+08:00

you know how it's like to feel forgotten.

how you wait to see if people remember to wait for you

when everyone has walked on ahead

you know how it's like to feel forgotten

when someone suddenly gives you a call

and you know it's not cause they missed you

you know how it's like to feel forgotten

when they talk about how they hanged out yesterday

and you're in the crowd, trying to look unaffected.

you know how it's like to feel forgotten,

SO DON'T FORGET OTHER PEOPLE!

don't worry.. I'm just reminding myself not to forget people. : ) and no, i'm not trying to look unaffected. if i was.. i wouldn't be posting this..

check out: I am not forgotten by Israel Houghton

and i'm on my One week of elevens

One week of looking past myself

One week of putting other people first

One week of laying down my pride

One week of thinking about others

One week of helping other people grow

One week of doing what you preach

One week of kindness

One week of doing everything to the best you can

One week of putting in an effort to smile

One week to pull the focus off yourself

One week to put it back on Jesus.

One week of eleven.

And let's all pray that this lasts more than one week!

emofied

2008-05-23T22:46:00.002+08:00

emo songs are no good for you.

no good at all..

but they certainly are great to listen to!

I mean I love the way some of them sing the song, how the tune turns out like. It's just so full of...angst?

that's not quite the word. but something like.. here I go, scream my lungs out

you know the thing with listening to songs from bands that aren't even famous? I don't know, it's this unspoken, or already known thing that it's a cool thing if you've found an amazing band, usually alternative, that no one has heard about. And then we can go show our friends, and they'd think that you're uber cool cause you knew of them! I feel that way. I feel cool. Err. No I don't have a very big inferiority complex.

Anyway, here are some really emo bands you might wanna give a listen. Don't listen to it, if you're going through a break-up that kind. It'll only make you worse. I might suggest some praise and worship songs for you.

21st of May, 2008

2008-05-20T23:13:00.002+08:00

The recent spark of interest in blogging again is unexplainable, and I certainly don't see a need for it to be explained. Maybe it has something to do with Linus and his fantastic new blog.

In any case, a very warm welcome to Mom and Dad, and congratulations on finding out about this blog. As you can see on the links to your left, you'll

find Philip's, James' and Girl girl's one as well!

(hoho guys, we're all in this together)

Just as a precaution, whatever is said here, is meant to be taken with a pinch of salt. And as a disclaimer, I love you both, Daddy and Mummy, very very much.

I don't know, call it a block, but there seem to be a million thoughts running through my head every day, but when I want to write it down, they all run and hide. Like the amazing bacteria Staphylococcus Aureus (like I would know if I spelt it wrong), that are pretty awesome at hiding in the amazing body God created (Ng, Gavin, his notes) but of course have no right to be inside of you (unless it's a good bacteria, that God meant for be there..). So maybe start with what's new.

1) I got my P's! Which means I can drive LEGALLY, but safety wise, or sister wise, I still can't drive.

2) I'm in my second last week of my 5th semester! I have altogether 6 semesters by the way.

3) I can't think of anything much actually... I'm doing my Hebrew essay now?? Well I've a goal of being able to TYPE in Hebrew fluently. See, the letters are in different places. For example, 'ALEPH' is on the key "T". By doing this, אאאאא, I am essentially typing TTTTT, and I have no idea where my comma is.

But that's just the problem of remembering and practice.

4) What else is new.. oh, daddy and mummy, I got a lousy pass for my essay, but not to worry, the rest of my subjects are pretty decent.

5) I can't discuss political stuff very well, and I'm feeling pretty inadequate at such political matters. Right now in tutorial we're discussing about whether Turkey should join the EU, or if the EU should accept Turkey as a member state.

6) For point SIX, I need God to start telling me what I should be doing after my SIXth semester...

7) Can't wait to print my lomo pictures.. Now that it's winter.. the sun's gone pretty much by 5pm, so there aren't many pretty pictures to take that will turn out pretty on my pretty lomo.

...

I just don't like to stop at SIX.

Just for old times' sake.

Beauty for ashes

2008-03-24T00:00:00.001+08:00

Beauty for ashes,

Take this heart of stone

and make it yours.

aiyoh.

2008-02-25T00:19:00.010+08:00

This photo makes me happy..

hehehe.

Jiejie your mouth open so big.

Your eyes so small.

Your.... k nvm.

Smile people smile!

Courtesy of Philip Ong Photography.

Copied from Evelyn Ong's blog.

xoxo

thunder

2008-02-23T22:58:00.002+08:00

Girls like Boys like girls.

I am relieved!

2008-02-21T19:06:00.004+08:00

I don't have to apply for my PR just yet!!

You have no idea how relieved I was when I found that out.

Today is definitely one of the better days.

I got a haircut.
I don't have to delay my flight to the 8th of March (imagine that)
And Mummy says yes to pizza tonight!
And we're having it home delivered!

Right to your door step.
yayayayay.

A picture to celebrate

The Murray river at sunset.

xoxo

good days and ba... no, better days..

2008-02-21T01:20:00.001+08:00

There are good days,

good days..

then there are always the better days..

better days...

There is definitely more where that came from.

But right now, I'm just a teensy weensy little bit embarrassed.

xoxo

for the audience of two... God and you

2008-02-20T17:14:00.000+08:00

Maybe more than 2.

My head feels like it's about to shut down.

I'm scared, of what's going to happen this year.
Whether I'm going to make it for honours. I need to make it for honours.
The paths that i'm taking.
Applying for my permanent residency is going to be another headache.

God. I don't want to think anymore.
I don't want to weigh out the consequences. I don't want to live, calculating my every move.
I might as well not live.

My chest is heavy, like there's something pressing on it. Literally.
I'm not used to wearing my heart on my sleeve.
I don't think I'm about to start.

But I know this. I need You.
And I miss the other you.

entitled: eve

2008-02-18T19:36:00.000+08:00

DSCF0026
Originally uploaded by tearsmile

To my dear cousin,

You're amazing, did you know?
You're beautiful beyond words.
So much more than what's on the outside.
So much to do with what's on the inside!
Anyone would be stupid, dumb not to be able to see.

Everytime I look at you,
I thank God He put you there in my life.
I thank God He knew all along,
how much you'd mean to me, when he created you.

This is us , trying to make some music.
Me at the piano, while you. waiting for me to play the melody right.
But when you sing.. Oh when you sing.
Your voice, rings loud and clear in my mind.
It's clear, it's sweet.
In it you bare your soul.
In it your love and yearning for our God is so amazing and real.
You inspire me.
Every single day.
No kiddin!

I pray we never grow apart. I pray we'll always stay this close.
I pray my kids will know your kids.
I pray when we're old and toothless, we'll still look at each other and laugh!
"HAHA see you got no more teeth"
"HAHA see you're a saggy baggy"

You're truly a blessing, hardly in disguise.
A blessing from God that is so obvious to me I'd be stupid if I took you for granted.

So... I LOVE YOUUU..
(I love you for who you are)
(I love you for what you are)
(I love you for how you love me)
I bet you know i do.

DSCF0064
Originally uploaded by tearsmile

I was looking for a reaallll nice photo of you.. and i found this!

beautiful girlll.. sucidal sucidal

sexy eve
Originally uploaded by tearsmile

kiddingg

there are only three parts..
because
i don't know how to consolidate all of them into one.

aha....

i think you look hawt hereee

tell me if you think otherwise and i'll remove it afap.

love,
Xuan.

Mere Christianity

2007-11-28T16:18:00.000+08:00

I feel like I can't talk, more of that I shouldn't speak.

That every word I have to say now, and every word that I have said, has been pointless, of no fruit, and just unnecessary.

And so, I shouldn't speak.

"This world is a great sculptor's shop. We are the statues and there is a rumour going round the shop that some of us are some day going to come to life."

Persuasion, or no

2007-11-09T09:23:00.000+08:00

In just 2 days, I've watched 2 movies that contradict each other on the topic none other than love.

The first, Garden state, is about letting go, jumping in, and living life. There's this line in the movie that the guy says, “I’ve known you 4 days, and you've changed my life". They're at the airport, and he's about to return to LA from his small tiny hometown where he just attended his mother's funeral. His reason of leaving is that he has to figure himself out first, before he goes into anything, because to him, it is too precious to just jump in. "What if he ruins it?” "What if they d something stupid that they can no longer change?” Questions like these, see they'd had put him on some kind of medication for a long time, ever since he pushed his mother and caused her to be paralysed waist down when he was 9. It was for, anger management, they said. But for too long he had been feeling so numb, until this girl with epilepsy, changes his whole thinking of life.

He's on the plane, sitting in his sit amongst all the chaos that you get in a plane. She's sobbing in a telephone booth; afraid that they're never going to see each other again, "He's not going to return for goodness sake!” But he does. He comes running back to the phone booth where she is, tells her to forget about the idea of 'elision' that he had and then he kisses her.

See, he figured that he had spent enough of his life without her, and be it 4 days of 4 years of the time that he known her, this was something different, some one, different. He loved her. And she loved him.

Okay, the second one, The Lake house.
You've got to agree with me that that is the most kick-ass movie you've ever seen. Pardon my language, but the movie is good.

Here you get 2 people, a house, a dog, and a magical time travelling mailbox, or whatever the producers meant it to be. Okay some form of connection between the past and present, or in Keanu's case, the present and future. The world is pretty much the same.

(I can't continue it)

How can you refuse Him now

2007-11-06T23:02:00.000+08:00

I think this song speaks for itself in so many ways.
Too many in fact, so I'll just let it speak for itself right, about, now.

There's a story olde,
that has often been told
Of how our Saviour died..

As they nailed His hands
He cried they don't understand
as the blood, flowed from His side.

How can you refuse Him now
How can you refuse Him now
How can you turn away from His side
With tears in His eyes, on the cross where He died
How can you refuse Jesus now.

As He hung there on the tree
He prayed for and, He prayed for me
There was no one His pain to ease
Before He died, He faintly cried
Father, forgive them please

How can you refuse Him now
How can you refuse HIm now
How can you turn away from His side
With tears in His eyes, on the cross where he died
How can you refuse Jesus now.

i love...

2007-11-05T00:55:00.000+08:00

i love the smell of chocolate,
on my skin, in my room,
i love the taste of it,
melting in my mouth.
the delicate bitterness.
as it slowly liquidifies
sliding down my throat.

hating the growing up part

2007-09-27T22:29:00.000+08:00

Everyone's got to grow up,
sooner or later.

Funny thing was, I never realised that it was a choice that we had to make
and not just something that happened over night.

You choose to just snap out of your whiny mode,
and get on with things

You choose to pick up yourself
after you've fallen and continue walking

You choose to shut out the things that life throws at you
that don't benefit you and stop sulking on them

you choose al these things
because that's what part of growing up is.

hard luck stories

2007-06-24T19:14:00.000+08:00

everyone has their own hard luck stories,
"My parents are divorced,
My dad passed away last year",
or, "I've got cancer. You won't believe what happend to me. No one loves me. I'm ugly"

No, my dear, no. Don't, go there, don't start pitying yourself, don't!

Everyone has a story behind their lives.
You see the person beside you on the train, looking down, or staring into their reflection. Don't think any less of them, or don't think any more. You don't know what it is that they're thinking about. You don't know what just happened to them

but it's the words we say, that can really build or break a person.

straylight run

2007-06-02T22:59:00.000+08:00

When the sun came up, we were sleeping in
Sunk inside our blankets, sprawled across the bed,
And we were dreaming.

There are moments when, when I know it ends
And the world revolves around us
And we're keeping it,
Keep it all going.
This delicate balance,
Vulnerable,
All-knowing.

Sing like you think no one's listening
You would kill for this
Just a little bit,
Just a little bit,
You would...

Sing me something soft,
Sad and delicate,
Or loud and out of key
Sing me anything

We're glad for what we've got.
Done with what we've lost
Our whole lives laid out in front of us.

Sing me something soft,
Sad and delicate,
Or loud and out of key
Sing me anything.

I don't quite get the lyrics, but I love that part in bold.
If you'd just sing to me, I think I might fall in love with you.

Then again.. maybe not.

okay. updating lahhhh
IT'S THE HOLIDAYS!!! ahah. and i'll tell you more soon. love you lots
christine.

i know what you can get me

2007-05-28T21:42:00.000+08:00

you, yes you!

okay i'm referring to my sister.

i want a digital camera. i promise you. this present will cover the next 2 years. okay fine. 5. PLEASE?

love xuan

sucks to be you.

2007-05-23T14:29:00.000+08:00

Hello people.

RIght now, I'm currently researching on an essay which is about the Holocaust, and it is a very morbid thing to be doing. But I must say, that I'm doing hebrew and Jewish studies partly because of the Holocaust.

I remember when I went to Israel, we visited a Holocaust Museum, I cannot remember where, but they planted a significant number of trees around the area. One tree to signify something, I can't really remember what. And we went to this part of the museum, that was totally dark, except for the light coming from candles. just a few, but it seemed like there were hundreds of them because of the mirrors. and they also had this eerie music playing in the background. the kind that gets to you, that wrenches your heart, that just makes you sick inside out. and as i walked, i was suddenly faced with pictures of children's faces. everywhere i looked would be a photograph of a child. those eyes, that reek of innocence, and the expressions of their faces that literally make you heart sink as you think about what happened to them.

Jesus, how could that have happened.

please people, asking him how could HE have let that happened isn't the right question.

But anyway, I didn't blog just for the sake of blogging. Although it kinda feels like it now because I can't actually be bothered to write ANYMORE!

I dunwan to grow up......*whine whine whine*

okay somebody slap me.

oh, and if i dunno who you are, then too bad.

*sucks to be you.. hahahaha man i love that phrase. oopsie.

let me think.

2007-05-12T19:45:00.000+08:00

I love you.

that can be a post can't it?

hehe :)
love me too,
christine.

will update more. soon. i think. have a little faith in me!

...snort.hahaha.. snort.

2007-04-04T20:05:00.000+08:00

HAHAHA!
Man, all of you have to hear this joke. IT IS SUPER FUNNY IT CRACKS ME UP ALL THE TIME. even when i'm on the tram or train, or walking back alone and thinking about it. I LAUGH. silently. but still with all the extra movements like tilting my head backwards. ON THE TRAM? yeah so here goes.

once a plane crashed onto a deserted island, out of 167 passengers, there were only 3 survivors.
Coincidentally, the 3 survivors were of different race and nationality. One of them an American, the other an Aussie and another a Chinese.

I mean we've got to have a chinese somewhere. they're everywhere!

so not knowing what to do, stranded and helpless, (and all alone!) the three men wandered around the forsaken island. finally, the American took control of the situation.

"If we just wander around here any longer, we're all going to die!"

Being used to giving orders, as we can already see from the fact that America is a great bug superpower, and the Iraq war, and David hicks. and independence day. and. ok. He continues...

"Does everyone know how to speak English here?"

Obviously referring to the chinese... but ok lah. possibily the italian looking australian.

and came the replies.
"Yea mate"
"yah"

"alright then! You aussie guy, go get some firewood. I'm going to get some game for us, and you chinese man, you go get whatever supplies that we might need. we're going to eat, then think what we can do to save ourselves. "

so off they went, the american charging off, like they always do, the aussie bouncing off like a true blue kangaroo, and the chinese shuffling off with his slanty eyes.

Half an hour later, the Big Buff American Guy comes back, a wild boar over his shoulder and whams it onto the ground, obviously proud oh his job well done.

after flexing his muscles and admiring his strong physique in the reflection of the sea, the aussie comes back throwing a pile of wood on a heap of firewood already on the ground.

as they stood around, waiting for their supplies with the chinese man, they chit chatted and got to know each other. after 15mins, they started getting impatient

"where is the chinese dude with the slanty eyes man!"
"yea, big american man! i have no idea"

another 10 mins goes by, and still there was no sign of the chinese man.

suddenly, from behind their backs, in a bush nearby, the american man and the aussie heard something rustling.
as they turned their heads slowly, half expecting a great big lion to jump out at them, they stared at the bush with fear in their eyes, their throats constricted, sweat forming on their foreheads.

"SUPPLIES!!!!!!" the Chinese man screams as he jumps out of the bush, knowing that he did a good job.

"eh eh? you scared no? hehehe. you want supplies, i give you supplies!!"

hahahahahahahaaha okay, i can't tell this joke that well. you have to hear vicky at it. HAHAHAHA, she's the best :) :) !!!
why you ask me, such a lame joke on the 4 of april, it's not even april's fool. welllll. cause i'd really like to thank all the people who contributed to my very own supplies! Thank you all for taking time out to come, and even waiting for me while i leisurely took my time in making my way back, making you guys wait for a close 2 hours. but if i knew i would have rushed back, but obviously it was a "supplies!" haha thanks guys. and thank you jie jie. you know i love you. you don't? i do!!!

iloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouiloveyouwoainiwoainiwoainiwoainiwoainiwoainiwoainiwoainiwoainianiohevetatahaniohevetatahaniohevetatahaniohevetatahaniohevetatah

i'll try to show it somehow.

and to all the special people who came. thanks for making my birthday such a special one, and making me feel so special!!!

and lastly, Jesus, i stand in awe of you.
(even though you knew all along!!!!)

thanks big guy.

with lots of love,
christine, xuan, ledgee, nuowen, ah ma etc etc.

broccoli makes you fart!

2007-03-30T18:12:00.001+08:00

okay seriously, i never knew that, i thought that was only for beans!
but it's true!!

i've been eating broccoli for the past few days. maybe. everyday in the week cept for 1 or 2 here and there. i'm starting to get quite sick of it. but anyway, then when i was safeway shopping with a friend, he commented on the broccoli that i picked out

"eh! broccoli, make you fart alot one"

then like a lightbulb in my head, PING, it flashed non stop, giving that static, electricity sound..

"so that's why i've been mumble mumble...."

"what?"

"oh nothing."

what. really nothing what, it's just gas.

mountain made into a molehill!

2007-03-28T18:39:00.000+08:00

that is, of my laundry basket. woohoohoo..

what God says is really true hey, if you've got faith the size of a mustard seed, and you say to that mountain, be cast into the sea, and it will be done accordingly.

only mine is Laundry! be cast into the washing machine!

and so it was done. by my little effort but great great discipline.

:) otay...

you came along, just like a song ...

2007-03-20T22:24:00.001+08:00

and watched me eat my maggi mee by the side of the road.

aha.. i was just recounting my dreams, and i very much believe that i could compile all of them into a book! they are serisouly exciting. if only i would just be able to sleep all day and dream, and remember my dream clearly, word for word, event for event, because it always seems to make sense when i'm dreaming. and when i try to pen it down, it just isn't the same. remember the one about me flying? i had an awesome time sleeping it through. it was fantastic.

when i was small, i used to dream too
but those dreams frightened me
they were always red, black and full of fire.
i'd wake up in the middle of the night.
jerking up wide awake. and start to pray
God please don't give me anymore dreams.
give me a dreamless sleep.
then sobbing into my pillow, i'll drift back to sleep.
into a night a darkness, and silence
not even a black and white movie.
and i thanked God for that.

Now that God's in my life, and playing a bigger role
my dreams are mostly happy ones
ones that are full of excitement, thrills and adventure.
from dragons in toilet bowls (i'll tell you about that one some day)
to michael jackson in my school.
they make me laugh out loud in my sleep
they feel so real that i reach out my hand to grab that ice cream,
only to wake myself up, but nonetheless, i thank God for it.

for the gift to be able to sleep. soundly in my bed,
despite the problems, the hurt, the pain.
because when i sleep, he takes me round world,
brings me to heaven and shows me a good time.
Now i'm praying that all these doesn't just happen in my dreams.
but in my moments awake as well.
together with him. i wanna dream.

and adios, i'm off to dream.

chinese new year

2007-02-20T18:22:00.000+08:00

i'm sure many people's post headers are all "chinese new year", or "Happy chinese new year" or "gong xi fa cai!" or.. "happy cheena new year!" haha okay i'll stop. but i'd just like to tell you about my chinese new year. i don't care if no one reads through the whole thing, because i've just got to get it out.

I'VE GOT THE DARNDEST, MOST AWESOME FAMILY!

okay, now that's over, i can go through with the details, for those people like my sister who missed out. :)

I didn't expect much from chinese new year this year, but i sure got alot out of it. somehow or rather, my family did seem bigger than usual, even though few people were missing from all the action, eg sister, cousin, cousin, cousin, cousin's kid, cousin's kid, cousin's wife, cousin's wife, auntie, auntie's husband, cousin, cousin's husband, cousin's 2 kids, cousin, cousin's husband, cousin's 2 kids, cousin, cousin's wife, cousin's 2 kids. auntie, uncle, cousin, cousin, cousin.. and that's about all who were missing. everyone accounted for. though they were missing, some new comers made up for them.

what am i doing drinking hot tea now i have no idea. i'm in australia! the land of the .. land of the free? nah, more like eggplant chips.

yah yah okay, so i collected lots of ang paos. yeah that aside. if i don't remember wrongly, i'm pretty sure that i made up my mind to spend chinese new year with my parents as often as possible. And i did! i didn't sleep in my cousin's house at all! i almost but i wanted to bathe. chinese new year was great because i think it was during that time at which i was my cleanest! haha i bathe in the mornings before i left the house, in the afternoons when we came back for a quick rest, and at night when we finally get back. chinese new year was great because i got to watch fireworks with my dad, for 15 mins, just the two of us, standing there. chinese new year was great because i got to watch fireworks for a whole 45 mins. driving through sitiawan just gazing up into the sky, left right front back, fireworks were doing the works in the sky that night! it was awesome.. haha also partly because fireworks were banned in sitiawan. but at the stroke of midnight, some came in a bit early, others late, something wrong with their clocks, big loud bangs of the firecrackers, all the way up, culminating till it reached the top then to finish off with one loud bang, and a spray of bright sparks, and red paper falling onto the ground, white smoke filling the air till it seems like the underground river in phantom of the opera.

so you understand why i have to bathe before i go to sleep everynight. all the dirt on my face, and body. my bed sheets would have black polka dots instead of white!

anyway, what else was new this year. oh our family got too big to have everyone sitting at 2 round tables. not even two. 4, we had to take turns to eat. and each turn included two tables. so that kinda sucked cause we wanted to have everyone together gether... so my uncle had already gotten a canopy to be put up just outside the house, with fans somemore k. no play play. and then we borrowed a about 5 or 6 tables, those plastic foldable ones and put them outside. and 2 bg canteen long ones from the church as well. haha it was great fun. the food was put on the long ones, and everyone queued up for food. haha i didn't queue lah. just cut the queue with my cousins. the perks of family :) haha okay

so we sat and talked and ate, and sat and talked and ate. and ate... and.. ate.

and chinese new year, never chinese new year unless someone loses money. so one round of poker they go, 2 rounds, 3 rounds, 4 rounds, till the wives complain and it's time for the kids to go hom and sleep. other than poker, we played black jack. i suck at this game. i know i know. how hard can it get! but i really suck at it. or you can say my luck at this game was really bad. like horrifying. i'd always get 14, which really really sucks cause it's neither here nor there. and what's worse is that i would have to be the first one to take the cards if you don't have enough. but what's good was that my dad was the banker. my other cousin kept saying joker, then he said no. "jonker" then i looked at him. is there such a word??? he said. dunno, i always hear my mother using it. ohhhhhhhh

and i had the greatest fun playing with all my younger cousins. seriously, the older ones are too serious. haha okayyy i'm kidding. you know that you guys are the best cousins ever.

here they are...

joie - 3 yrs old, loves to go around saying "you ahhhhhh"
janelle - 3 yrs old, loves to drink cold water
jeriel - 6 yrs old, loves his hot wheels
shannon - 10 yrs old, loves to play speed
dexter - 12 yrs old, loves to listen to pussycat dolls
lucas - 13 yrs old, loves to play the piano
joo ming - 13 yrs old, loves to talk to me (he just doesn't show it)
daniel - 14 yrs old, loves to build up his already there 6 pack (rain lookalike, only i give him credit for his way bigger eyes)
Jaclyn - (how old are you?), loves rain.

okay what haven't i covered. i don't think that i can cover it all but there was one night when lucas who can play the piano really really really realllllly well, started playing songs for us to sing. and then my uncle who had heard joie sing this song before, "Jesus, we enthrone you, we proclaim you are king. standing here in the mdst of us, we raise you up with our praise, and as we worship build your throne, and as we worship build your throne, and as we worship build you throne come lord Jesus and take your place" got lucas to play and joie to sing. at first she shy lah. then when everyone started to sing, her voice just got louder and louder until she seemed to be screaming in my ear.

she's so beautiful you know that. she'd literally jump from the floor, up into your arms, grab you tight around the head, aim for you lips, and give you great biiiig smooch. if one's not enough, she'll gladly give you another. but that's only if you're me. ha-ha. bleh.

so there.

hana yori dango

2007-02-08T22:48:00.000+08:00

or otherwise known as meteor garden has once again got me stuck on youtube.

okay, go ahead and laugh, there i see some of you already rolling on the floor, with that look of disbelief and contempt, your faces screaming at me, "F4?? You LIKE F4??"

hey, I like the story! and f4 just happens to be a part of it, at least i'm not crazy enough to buy air tickets just so that i can be in the baggage collection area and meet them, maybe just a teensy weensy bit crazy to write about them. here. of all places.

how do i know i like the story, well, it's cheesy, it has love triangles and others say squares, actually i don't really know. but it sure brings back secondary school memories. all my class photos, at least my lower secondary ones have something to do with meteor garder, or 流星花园, or that person rocks, or this person rocks.

and in my autograph book, fuyoo, there's heaps of pictures all about f4, and at that time, lilo and stitch, which was premiering in cinemas.

but i'm pretty surprised at myself as well. over the 2-3 years, i've collected the hana yori dango manga set, almost all of it, i think i'm missing 7 books? mind you that out of 36. say 1 book was around 5-6 dollars. but i must say, it's money well spent. easy for me to say because it isn't mine.

i still remember when my dad's business wasn't doing so well one time, he wasn't too worried about it, i was. because i was afriad that i couldn't buy anymore manga. so i asked him, "does this mean that i can't buy my manga anymore?" Without hesitation, my dad said, "of course not! Your daddy can afford it."

i say it's money well spent because up till now, i still read it. mostly when i'm in the toilet. i love the holidays, did i tell you that, though i think i might've spent most of it in the toilet. on my cherry blossom pink toilet bowl.

then came the taiwan drama. and f4 was the biggest craze among the girls. i can't say i was crazy, maybe mildly? i don't know. i wasn't gaga. but i did have a poster stuck up somewhere in my room.. like on the floor under my bed.

what is so appealing about it? eye candy, you can't leave that out. a young gusty girl who isn't like the rest of the other students. and an outta this world, hard to believe but you so want to believe kind of story. maybe it was true. who knows. all i know, is that the taiwan one was good. i love the days i spent at my friends house, watching it together, and then laughing at each other about liking f4, and then rolling our eyes at each other, like we didn't give a damn about f4, the fags we'd say.

now that the japan one is out, it's a whole lot better compared to the taiwan one. i tell you Japanese have a way of doing things, wrapping things, just basically everything that make it so, japanese. some anthropologist once said from her study of japanese that the Japanese have a way of setting themselves apart from asians, not just the rest of the world. they're asians, but so different from us asians! the way hana yori dango dorama is done, the setting, the flashy cars, the humongous house, and the planning of the story is siimilar to the taiwanese one, using the manga as a guide but with a whole lot more of spunk in it. the characters actually look like, and feel like they came out from the comic book itself.

ah.. hana yori dango 2 is out now, there are a few out there who share my mindless joy, and i thank you! for sticking with me and not backing down no matter what other people say. And like always, watching this dorama has made me want to learn japanese, same old story, but i believe i will one day,. i'll just watch all the japanese drama and very soon, i'll have the gift of the japanese gab. you think?

p.s. my toilet has wireless connection too

Hebrews 2:14-18

2007-01-28T00:03:00.000+08:00

Jesus' blood never fails me

Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might
destroy him who holds the power of death - that is, the devil - and free those who all their lives were held in
slavery by their fear of death. For surely it is not angels he helps, but Abraham's descendants. For this reason
he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high
priest in service to God, and that he might make atonement for the sins of the people. Because he himself
suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.

Didn't Jesus say that He is on your side, therefore, do not fear.

now if that isn't fantastic, i don't know what is.

the thing about photos

2007-01-27T22:15:00.000+08:00

the thing about photos is that, once you've taken what you've took, no one can take that away.
of course, just like writing, there's plagiarism, lifting off ideas from other people's photos, and then playing around experimenting.
but once you've taken a shot, each is unique to it's own, and that's yours to keep, to show off to others
whether it was pure coincidence, a fluke, or 'the power of anticipation'
that's for the others to choose to believe.

...to the other, soon enough

2007-01-26T02:07:00.000+08:00

my lomo is spoilt.

i've been taking random photos with it, most were, if i dare say so myself, pretty awesome.

nothing beats not knowing what you're going to take.
and when it comes out close to perfect,
you go... wow.

hehe. so i must get it fixed. a little bit of banging should do the job.

i'm sorry if i've been elusive, unreadable, and just downright irritating.

while i'm still here on this side of eternity, i'm going to make it count.
and spending time online blogging about making it count, is all cheap talk.
for the most part of it at least, but they say you never know..

so adios till you hear something fantastic,
on this side of eternity.