the more i try the harder i fall

so i let go and let God do the work.

because the more i try, the harder i fail.

i rather not try, if i try i stop God. But if i don't i let him do a work in me. STOP TRYING

blood oranges

i now have no more reasons to make blood orange gelato.

They are sitting in my fridge. probably growing mould.

or else, they've been thrown out.

my heart is heavy

My heart is heavy oh Lord,

My heart is heavy

it feels like it's crying

and doesn't know how to stop.

we wait for time to pass

hoping it will heal like it said it would

but time and time again

things get harder days get longer.

my heart is heavy oh Lord,

my heart is heavy

let me drink again from your rivers of living water

let me bathe in your presence

i want to soak, to saturate to immerse myself

into the pool that is your presence

into the well of your vast and living water

clear and blue, crystal and pure.

reaching to the bottom looking at the bubbles leaving me

Lord, quench this thirst quench

sing to me as i slowly fall asleep.

blood orange gelato recipe

Are blood oranges in season now in Australia?

Blood Orange Gelato

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon grated blood orange zest

2/3 cup sugar divided, 1 teaspoon and remaining

2/3 cup water

2 cups freshly squeezed blood orange juice

¼ cup freshly squeezed lemon juice

2/3 cup heavy (whipping) cream

Instructions:

Prepare a large bowl or pan or ice water

In a small bowl, mash the zest with 1 teaspoon of the sugar to release the oils

Combine the remaining sugar and water in a medium saucepan and bring to a boil, stirring to dissolve the sugar

Cook until the syrup is clear

Remove from the heat and stir in the juices and sugared zest

Immediately place the pan in the ice bath

Stir the mixture occasionally until it cools to room temperature

Transfer to a container and stir in the cream

Cover and refrigerate until thoroughly chilled, about 3 hours

Freeze in an ice cream maker

Transfer to a container, cover, and freeze until firm, about 2 hours

I suppose it's not point just putting it up.. i have to make it.. and TAKE photos too. crap.

Owl City "In Christ Alone"

thanks to ian wei. sharing good songs is what friends do :)

New Heights - Peaches

pretty awesome song from the jubilee project!

I would like a t-shirt with that print on it

web designers are awesome

of course i wish i could be like them and speak the html language.

but that is one language that i would not understand even if i tried to learn it. Then again it is probably not impossible.

And today is cleaning room day, as i'm sure the next whole month would be as well.

I hope my nose doesn't get already flatter

ladder rungs

here i am sitting up, and staring at the first rung, right infront of me.

I don't hurt anymore from the fall.

it's been a while 

In fact, I don't remember even seeing this ladder here.

I've been flat on my back all this time

I look up to see where it goes

to see how high it reaches up to

I can't see the end

I can't climb this thing!

And then God's word, 'Not by might or by power, but by My Spirit', slides down

But I'm still sitting here, staring at the first rung.

My hands are reluctant to grab hold

My feet refuse to push me up to a stand

I'm not ready to climb. I don't have the stamina or the will power. What's wrong with the floor. What's wrong with where I am at now. 

Oh. Right.

I'm blocking the way up. 

Go first! I urge the others behind me. Don't let me stop you! 

Some take the first rung, and they start to climb

I feel my hands reach out to pull them down

Just like a madras crab.

I slap myself. 

What have I become. 

I say a prayer, just because I feel like I should. 

Nothing happens, as usual. 'Things don't happen immediately"

As always I tell myself. 

I shut a door on the people behind me

occasionally opening it, to take a peep and ease my guilty conscience

of holding them up in the queue

And I close it back again and go back to lying down.

But now, here I am, staring at the first rung. 

Someone help? Please?

Anyone. 

The Velveteen Rabbit

by Margery Williams

"What is real?" asked the rabbit one day. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you, and a stick out handle?"

"Real isn't how you were made," said the skin Horse, "it's a thing that happen to you. When a child loves you for a long time, not just to play with, but really loves you, then you become Real. It doesn't happen all at once," said the skin horse. "You become. It takes a long time... Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.

But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real, you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand"

Without You

from Rent

Without You, the ground thaws

The rain falls, the grass grows

Without You, the seeds root. 

The flowers bloom, the children play

The stars gleam, the poets dream

The eagles fly, without You

The earth turns, the sun burns

But I die without You

Without You, the breeze warms

The girl smiles, the cloud moves

Without you, the tides change

The boys run, the oceans crash

The crowds roar, the days soar

The babies cry

Without You

The moon glows, the river flows

But I die without You

The world revives, colours renew

But I know blue, only blue

Lonely blue, within me blue

Without You

Without You, the hand gropes

The ear hears, the pulse beats

Without You, the eyes gaze

The legs walk, the lungs breathe

The mind churns, the heart yearns

The tears dry, without You

Life goes on, but I'm gone

Cause I die, without You

Without you

Without you

So I hear that people still read this. :) Why thank you very much. My heart is warmed. 

That's where I want to be, the point where I die without you God 

I want my heart to yearn, I know even without You, life goes on, but I seem to be losing more and more of myself. And I don't want that. I don't want to be without You. 

The legs walk, the lungs breathe, but I die. 

Without You.

i don't think anyone reads this

well.. I can't exactly blame them because I never update! 

Anyway, this was something I had been thinking about recently.

You know how I'm doing Hebrew, and every time I tell someone that I'm learning Hebrew, their first reaction is always, (big eyes, open mouth) "Really?!" Followed by 2 facial expressions. One of which is amazement and awe, the other one I won't mention. 

haha :)

But more often than not, they would always ask me to say something in Hebrew. And being pretty much tired and slightly embarrassed of saying something of which they have absolutely no understanding of, I say "shalom". Which is something that pretty much is known to everyone in the Christian church. It means "peace", basically, or "Hello", and "Goodbye" depending on the context that you're using it in. 

The next thing that they'll ask me to say or to teach them, is how to introduce oneself to people. 

In Hebrew, this is pretty easy. You just say, directly translated from English, "I Christine".

Just because there isn't an "am" in Hebrew language. 

In Hebrew, "I Christine" will sound like this "ah-ni, Kristin".

אני כריסטין

So if you're pronouncing that, you're reading it from left to right. 

Then, this is the interesting bit.

The next thing that they ask is, "How do you say 'I love you'?"

Almost always, in whatever language when you are asking someone to teach you more, you'd ask that question, "How do you say 'I love you' ?"

Maybe it's just me, and it's just me, or just like me to want to, or would like to think that love really makes the world go round. But the next time you find someone learning a different language than that of which you know, think about it!

Or I could have most possibly jinxed the love revolution. 

But then again, it's a good thing that I think hardly anyone reads this blog anymore.. (:

And if you do...

אני אוהבת אתם

(ah-ni  o-hair-vet  ah-tem)

Guess what I just said?

Yeap! I love you (you in the plural form) 

(Just to make things clear)

:)

and so I'm no longer mobile.

Hokay, now that I've said that, it seems as though I'm paralyzed or something. But on the contrary! I'm pretty happy to be staying in one, and only ONE country, instead of moving up and down, back and forth, sitting in long, looong car rides, getting to far far destinations. 

You know what, since I came back from Australia, I have yet to sleep in my own bed! 

And tonight's going to be my first, so I shall mark this night with a blogpost! Woohoo! Celebration!

So, a log of all my travels and all the interesting things that I've seen and heard...   ... 

Shucks. I haven't been recording them down. 

Maybe a log of the things I've bought?

...

..

.

Nahhh... too embarrassing.

O-KAY! A log of the movies I've watched.

Hancock

The Holiday

Mr. Bean's Holiday

Step Up 2

In hopes of finishing this post to commemorate the author's first night in her own bed since returning from melbourne, she, however, fell asleep. On her own bed, of course. 

waking up, getting up, and moving on

Last night, I went to sleep crying.

Unsure of what I should do.

This morning, I woke up empowered.

Determined to wake up, get up, and move on. 

Reason?

The unconscious revelation of the grace of God, through a friend's devotion.

Ben Yap, thank God for you. 

You said,

Isaiah 50:2

When I came, why was there no one?

When I called, why was there no one to answer?

Was my arm too short to rescue you?

Do I lack the strength to rescue you?

Nothing is too big for my God to rescue me from.

When He comes, I want to be there.

When He calls, I want to answer.

His arm is more than long enough to rescue me.

He is strong. He can rescue me. 

 

light purple & dark chocolate

you know what makes you fat in winter?

hot chocolate in a light purple mug, and dark chocolates on the side.

no, the colour of the mug doesn't make me fatter than if i had it in a blue one. It just so happens to be my biggest mug ever! And with special hot chocolate all the way from the US of A, that is one good light purple cup of hot chocolate.

Today's message in church was awesome! This pastor was speaking about how his church back in the UK felt like it was a virtual reality, and how he had to reinvent the church 10 years ago. Today their congregation number in the thousands. 

but anyway.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONICA!!!! I love you!!! 

not forgotten

you know how it's like to feel forgotten.

how you wait to see if people remember to wait for you 

when everyone has walked on ahead

you know how it's like to feel forgotten

when someone suddenly gives you a call

and you know it's not cause they missed you

you know how it's like to feel forgotten

when they talk about how they hanged out yesterday

and you're in the crowd, trying to look unaffected.

you know how it's like to feel forgotten,

SO DON'T FORGET OTHER PEOPLE!

don't worry.. I'm just reminding myself not to forget people. : ) and no, i'm not trying to look unaffected. if i was.. i wouldn't be posting this.. 

check out: I am not forgotten by Israel Houghton

and i'm on my One week of elevens

One week of looking past myself

One week of putting other people first

One week of laying down my pride

One week of thinking about others

One week of helping other people grow

One week of doing what you preach

One week of kindness

One week of doing everything to the best you can

One week of putting in an effort to smile

One week to pull the focus off yourself

One week to put it back on Jesus.

One week of eleven. 

And let's all pray that this lasts more than one week! 

emofied

emo songs are no good for you.

no good at all..

but they certainly are great to listen to!

I mean I love the way some of them sing the song, how the tune turns out like. It's just so full of...angst? 

that's not quite the word. but something like.. here I go, scream my lungs out

you know the thing with listening to songs from bands that aren't even famous? I don't know, it's this unspoken, or already known thing that it's a cool thing if you've found an amazing band, usually alternative, that no one has heard about. And then we can go show our friends, and they'd think that you're uber cool cause you knew of them! I feel that way. I feel cool. Err. No I don't have a very big inferiority complex. 

Anyway, here are some really emo bands you might wanna give a listen. Don't listen to it, if you're going through a break-up that kind. It'll only make you worse. I might suggest some praise and worship songs for you. 

Mayday Parade|Boys like Girls|Damien Rice|Jimmy Eat World|Bedlight for Blue Eyes|Yellowcard

21st of May, 2008

The recent spark of interest in blogging again is unexplainable, and I certainly don't see a need for it to be explained. Maybe it has something to do with Linus and his fantastic new blog. 

In any case, a very warm welcome to Mom and Dad, and congratulations on finding out about this blog. As you can see on the links to your left, you'll 

find Philip's, James' and Girl girl's one as well! 

(hoho guys, we're all in this together)

Just as a precaution, whatever is said here, is meant to be taken with a pinch of salt. And as a disclaimer, I love you both, Daddy and Mummy, very very much. 

I don't know, call it a block, but there seem to be a million thoughts running through my head every day, but when I want to write it down, they all run and hide. Like the amazing bacteria Staphylococcus Aureus (like I would know if I spelt it wrong), that are pretty awesome at hiding in the amazing body God created (Ng, Gavin, his notes) but of course have no right to be inside of you (unless it's a good bacteria, that God meant for be there..). So maybe start with what's new.

1) I got my P's! Which means I can drive LEGALLY, but safety wise, or sister wise, I still can't drive. 

2) I'm in my second last week of my 5th semester! I have altogether 6 semesters by the way. 

3) I can't think of anything much actually... I'm doing my Hebrew essay now?? Well I've a goal of being able to TYPE in Hebrew fluently. See, the letters are in different places. For example, 'ALEPH' is on the key "T". By doing this, אאאאא, I am essentially typing TTTTT, and I have no idea where my comma is. 

But that's just the problem of remembering and practice. 

4) What else is new.. oh, daddy and mummy, I got a lousy pass for my essay, but not to worry, the rest of my subjects are pretty decent. 

5) I can't discuss political stuff very well, and I'm feeling pretty inadequate at such political matters. Right now in tutorial we're discussing about whether Turkey should join the EU, or if the EU should accept Turkey as a member state.

6) For point SIX, I need God to start telling me what I should be doing after my SIXth semester... 

7) Can't wait to print my lomo pictures.. Now that it's winter.. the sun's gone pretty much by 5pm, so there aren't many pretty pictures to take that will turn out pretty on my pretty lomo.  

...

I just don't like to stop at SIX. 

Just for old times' sake. 

Beauty for ashes

Beauty for ashes,

Take this heart of stone

and make it yours. 

aiyoh.

 This photo makes me happy.. 

hehehe.

Jiejie your mouth open so big. 

Your eyes so small. 

Your.... k nvm. 

Smile people smile! 

Courtesy of Philip Ong Photography. 

Copied from Evelyn Ong's blog.

xoxo

thunder

Girls like Boys like girls.