I am relieved!

I don't have to apply for my PR just yet!!

You have no idea how relieved I was when I found that out.

Today is definitely one of the better days.

I got a haircut.
I don't have to delay my flight to the 8th of March (imagine that)
And Mummy says yes to pizza tonight!
And we're having it home delivered!

Right to your door step.
yayayayay.

A picture to celebrate

The Murray river at sunset. 

xoxo

good days and ba... no, better days..

There are good days,

                                                               good days..

then there are always the better days..

                                                                                      better days...

There is definitely more where that came from. 

But right now, I'm just a teensy weensy little bit embarrassed. 

xoxo

for the audience of two... God and you

Maybe more than 2.

My head feels like it's about to shut down.

I'm scared, of what's going to happen this year.
Whether I'm going to make it for honours. I need to make it for honours.
The paths that i'm taking.
Applying for my permanent residency is going to be another headache.

God. I don't want to think anymore.
I don't want to weigh out the consequences. I don't want to live, calculating my every move.
I might as well not live.

My chest is heavy, like there's something pressing on it. Literally.
I'm not used to wearing my heart on my sleeve.
I don't think I'm about to start.

But I know this. I need You.
And I miss the other you.

entitled: eve

DSCF0026
Originally uploaded by tearsmile

To my dear cousin,

You're amazing, did you know?
You're beautiful beyond words.
So much more than what's on the outside.
So much to do with what's on the inside!
Anyone would be stupid, dumb not to be able to see.

Everytime I look at you,
I thank God He put you there in my life.
I thank God He knew all along,
how much you'd mean to me, when he created you.

This is us , trying to make some music.
Me at the piano, while you. waiting for me to play the melody right.
But when you sing.. Oh when you sing.
Your voice, rings loud and clear in my mind.
It's clear, it's sweet.
In it you bare your soul.
In it your love and yearning for our God is so amazing and real.
You inspire me.
Every single day.
No kiddin!

I pray we never grow apart. I pray we'll always stay this close.
I pray my kids will know your kids.
I pray when we're old and toothless, we'll still look at each other and laugh!
"HAHA see you got no more teeth"
"HAHA see you're a saggy baggy"

You're truly a blessing, hardly in disguise.
A blessing from God that is so obvious to me I'd be stupid if I took you for granted.

So... I LOVE YOUUU..
(I love you for who you are)
(I love you for what you are)
(I love you for how you love me)
I bet you know i do.

DSCF0064
Originally uploaded by tearsmile

I was looking for a reaallll nice photo of you.. and i found this!

beautiful girlll.. sucidal sucidal

sexy eve
Originally uploaded by tearsmile

kiddingg

there are only three parts..
because
i don't know how to consolidate all of them into one.

aha....

i think you look hawt hereee

tell me if you think otherwise and i'll remove it afap.

love,
Xuan.

Mere Christianity

I feel like I can't talk, more of that I shouldn't speak.

That every word I have to say now, and every word that I have said, has been pointless, of no fruit, and just unnecessary.

And so, I shouldn't speak.

"This world is a great sculptor's shop. We are the statues and there is a rumour going round the shop that some of us are some day going to come to life."

Persuasion, or no

In just 2 days, I've watched 2 movies that contradict each other on the topic none other than love.

The first, Garden state, is about letting go, jumping in, and living life. There's this line in the movie that the guy says, “I’ve known you 4 days, and you've changed my life". They're at the airport, and he's about to return to LA from his small tiny hometown where he just attended his mother's funeral. His reason of leaving is that he has to figure himself out first, before he goes into anything, because to him, it is too precious to just jump in. "What if he ruins it?” "What if they d something stupid that they can no longer change?” Questions like these, see they'd had put him on some kind of medication for a long time, ever since he pushed his mother and caused her to be paralysed waist down when he was 9. It was for, anger management, they said. But for too long he had been feeling so numb, until this girl with epilepsy, changes his whole thinking of life.

He's on the plane, sitting in his sit amongst all the chaos that you get in a plane. She's sobbing in a telephone booth; afraid that they're never going to see each other again, "He's not going to return for goodness sake!” But he does. He comes running back to the phone booth where she is, tells her to forget about the idea of 'elision' that he had and then he kisses her.

See, he figured that he had spent enough of his life without her, and be it 4 days of 4 years of the time that he known her, this was something different, some one, different. He loved her. And she loved him.

Okay, the second one, The Lake house.
You've got to agree with me that that is the most kick-ass movie you've ever seen. Pardon my language, but the movie is good.

Here you get 2 people, a house, a dog, and a magical time travelling mailbox, or whatever the producers meant it to be. Okay some form of connection between the past and present, or in Keanu's case, the present and future. The world is pretty much the same.

(I can't continue it)

How can you refuse Him now

I think this song speaks for itself in so many ways.
Too many in fact, so I'll just let it speak for itself right, about, now.

There's a story olde,
that has often been told
Of how our Saviour died..

As they nailed His hands
He cried they don't understand
as the blood, flowed from His side.

How can you refuse Him now
How can you refuse Him now
How can you turn away from His side
With tears in His eyes, on the cross where He died
How can you refuse Jesus now.

As He hung there on the tree
He prayed for and, He prayed for me
There was no one His pain to ease
Before He died, He faintly cried
Father, forgive them please

How can you refuse Him now
How can you refuse HIm now
How can you turn away from His side
With tears in His eyes, on the cross where he died
How can you refuse Jesus now.