Without You

from Rent

Without You, the ground thaws

The rain falls, the grass grows

Without You, the seeds root. 

The flowers bloom, the children play

The stars gleam, the poets dream

The eagles fly, without You

The earth turns, the sun burns

But I die without You

Without You, the breeze warms

The girl smiles, the cloud moves

Without you, the tides change

The boys run, the oceans crash

The crowds roar, the days soar

The babies cry

Without You

The moon glows, the river flows

But I die without You

The world revives, colours renew

But I know blue, only blue

Lonely blue, within me blue

Without You

Without You, the hand gropes

The ear hears, the pulse beats

Without You, the eyes gaze

The legs walk, the lungs breathe

The mind churns, the heart yearns

The tears dry, without You

Life goes on, but I'm gone

Cause I die, without You

Without you

Without you

So I hear that people still read this. :) Why thank you very much. My heart is warmed. 

That's where I want to be, the point where I die without you God 

I want my heart to yearn, I know even without You, life goes on, but I seem to be losing more and more of myself. And I don't want that. I don't want to be without You. 

The legs walk, the lungs breathe, but I die. 

Without You.

i don't think anyone reads this

well.. I can't exactly blame them because I never update! 

Anyway, this was something I had been thinking about recently.

You know how I'm doing Hebrew, and every time I tell someone that I'm learning Hebrew, their first reaction is always, (big eyes, open mouth) "Really?!" Followed by 2 facial expressions. One of which is amazement and awe, the other one I won't mention. 

haha :)

But more often than not, they would always ask me to say something in Hebrew. And being pretty much tired and slightly embarrassed of saying something of which they have absolutely no understanding of, I say "shalom". Which is something that pretty much is known to everyone in the Christian church. It means "peace", basically, or "Hello", and "Goodbye" depending on the context that you're using it in. 

The next thing that they'll ask me to say or to teach them, is how to introduce oneself to people. 

In Hebrew, this is pretty easy. You just say, directly translated from English, "I Christine".

Just because there isn't an "am" in Hebrew language. 

In Hebrew, "I Christine" will sound like this "ah-ni, Kristin".

אני כריסטין

So if you're pronouncing that, you're reading it from left to right. 

Then, this is the interesting bit.

The next thing that they ask is, "How do you say 'I love you'?"

Almost always, in whatever language when you are asking someone to teach you more, you'd ask that question, "How do you say 'I love you' ?"

Maybe it's just me, and it's just me, or just like me to want to, or would like to think that love really makes the world go round. But the next time you find someone learning a different language than that of which you know, think about it!

Or I could have most possibly jinxed the love revolution. 

But then again, it's a good thing that I think hardly anyone reads this blog anymore.. (:

And if you do...

אני אוהבת אתם

(ah-ni  o-hair-vet  ah-tem)

Guess what I just said?

Yeap! I love you (you in the plural form) 

(Just to make things clear)

:)

and so I'm no longer mobile.

Hokay, now that I've said that, it seems as though I'm paralyzed or something. But on the contrary! I'm pretty happy to be staying in one, and only ONE country, instead of moving up and down, back and forth, sitting in long, looong car rides, getting to far far destinations. 

You know what, since I came back from Australia, I have yet to sleep in my own bed! 

And tonight's going to be my first, so I shall mark this night with a blogpost! Woohoo! Celebration!

So, a log of all my travels and all the interesting things that I've seen and heard...   ... 

Shucks. I haven't been recording them down. 

Maybe a log of the things I've bought?

...

..

.

Nahhh... too embarrassing.

O-KAY! A log of the movies I've watched.

Hancock

The Holiday

Mr. Bean's Holiday

Step Up 2

In hopes of finishing this post to commemorate the author's first night in her own bed since returning from melbourne, she, however, fell asleep. On her own bed, of course. 

waking up, getting up, and moving on

Last night, I went to sleep crying.

Unsure of what I should do.

This morning, I woke up empowered.

Determined to wake up, get up, and move on. 

Reason?

The unconscious revelation of the grace of God, through a friend's devotion.

Ben Yap, thank God for you. 

You said,

Isaiah 50:2

When I came, why was there no one?

When I called, why was there no one to answer?

Was my arm too short to rescue you?

Do I lack the strength to rescue you?

Nothing is too big for my God to rescue me from.

When He comes, I want to be there.

When He calls, I want to answer.

His arm is more than long enough to rescue me.

He is strong. He can rescue me. 

 

light purple & dark chocolate

you know what makes you fat in winter?

hot chocolate in a light purple mug, and dark chocolates on the side.

no, the colour of the mug doesn't make me fatter than if i had it in a blue one. It just so happens to be my biggest mug ever! And with special hot chocolate all the way from the US of A, that is one good light purple cup of hot chocolate.

Today's message in church was awesome! This pastor was speaking about how his church back in the UK felt like it was a virtual reality, and how he had to reinvent the church 10 years ago. Today their congregation number in the thousands. 

but anyway.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY MONICA!!!! I love you!!! 

not forgotten

you know how it's like to feel forgotten.

how you wait to see if people remember to wait for you 

when everyone has walked on ahead

you know how it's like to feel forgotten

when someone suddenly gives you a call

and you know it's not cause they missed you

you know how it's like to feel forgotten

when they talk about how they hanged out yesterday

and you're in the crowd, trying to look unaffected.

you know how it's like to feel forgotten,

SO DON'T FORGET OTHER PEOPLE!

don't worry.. I'm just reminding myself not to forget people. : ) and no, i'm not trying to look unaffected. if i was.. i wouldn't be posting this.. 

check out: I am not forgotten by Israel Houghton

and i'm on my One week of elevens

One week of looking past myself

One week of putting other people first

One week of laying down my pride

One week of thinking about others

One week of helping other people grow

One week of doing what you preach

One week of kindness

One week of doing everything to the best you can

One week of putting in an effort to smile

One week to pull the focus off yourself

One week to put it back on Jesus.

One week of eleven. 

And let's all pray that this lasts more than one week! 

emofied

emo songs are no good for you.

no good at all..

but they certainly are great to listen to!

I mean I love the way some of them sing the song, how the tune turns out like. It's just so full of...angst? 

that's not quite the word. but something like.. here I go, scream my lungs out

you know the thing with listening to songs from bands that aren't even famous? I don't know, it's this unspoken, or already known thing that it's a cool thing if you've found an amazing band, usually alternative, that no one has heard about. And then we can go show our friends, and they'd think that you're uber cool cause you knew of them! I feel that way. I feel cool. Err. No I don't have a very big inferiority complex. 

Anyway, here are some really emo bands you might wanna give a listen. Don't listen to it, if you're going through a break-up that kind. It'll only make you worse. I might suggest some praise and worship songs for you. 

Mayday Parade|Boys like Girls|Damien Rice|Jimmy Eat World|Bedlight for Blue Eyes|Yellowcard

21st of May, 2008

The recent spark of interest in blogging again is unexplainable, and I certainly don't see a need for it to be explained. Maybe it has something to do with Linus and his fantastic new blog. 

In any case, a very warm welcome to Mom and Dad, and congratulations on finding out about this blog. As you can see on the links to your left, you'll 

find Philip's, James' and Girl girl's one as well! 

(hoho guys, we're all in this together)

Just as a precaution, whatever is said here, is meant to be taken with a pinch of salt. And as a disclaimer, I love you both, Daddy and Mummy, very very much. 

I don't know, call it a block, but there seem to be a million thoughts running through my head every day, but when I want to write it down, they all run and hide. Like the amazing bacteria Staphylococcus Aureus (like I would know if I spelt it wrong), that are pretty awesome at hiding in the amazing body God created (Ng, Gavin, his notes) but of course have no right to be inside of you (unless it's a good bacteria, that God meant for be there..). So maybe start with what's new.

1) I got my P's! Which means I can drive LEGALLY, but safety wise, or sister wise, I still can't drive. 

2) I'm in my second last week of my 5th semester! I have altogether 6 semesters by the way. 

3) I can't think of anything much actually... I'm doing my Hebrew essay now?? Well I've a goal of being able to TYPE in Hebrew fluently. See, the letters are in different places. For example, 'ALEPH' is on the key "T". By doing this, אאאאא, I am essentially typing TTTTT, and I have no idea where my comma is. 

But that's just the problem of remembering and practice. 

4) What else is new.. oh, daddy and mummy, I got a lousy pass for my essay, but not to worry, the rest of my subjects are pretty decent. 

5) I can't discuss political stuff very well, and I'm feeling pretty inadequate at such political matters. Right now in tutorial we're discussing about whether Turkey should join the EU, or if the EU should accept Turkey as a member state.

6) For point SIX, I need God to start telling me what I should be doing after my SIXth semester... 

7) Can't wait to print my lomo pictures.. Now that it's winter.. the sun's gone pretty much by 5pm, so there aren't many pretty pictures to take that will turn out pretty on my pretty lomo.  

...

I just don't like to stop at SIX. 

Just for old times' sake. 

Beauty for ashes

Beauty for ashes,

Take this heart of stone

and make it yours. 

aiyoh.

 This photo makes me happy.. 

hehehe.

Jiejie your mouth open so big. 

Your eyes so small. 

Your.... k nvm. 

Smile people smile! 

Courtesy of Philip Ong Photography. 

Copied from Evelyn Ong's blog.

xoxo

thunder

Girls like Boys like girls.

I am relieved!

I don't have to apply for my PR just yet!!

You have no idea how relieved I was when I found that out.

Today is definitely one of the better days.

I got a haircut.
I don't have to delay my flight to the 8th of March (imagine that)
And Mummy says yes to pizza tonight!
And we're having it home delivered!

Right to your door step.
yayayayay.

A picture to celebrate

The Murray river at sunset. 

xoxo

good days and ba... no, better days..

There are good days,

                                                               good days..

then there are always the better days..

                                                                                      better days...

There is definitely more where that came from. 

But right now, I'm just a teensy weensy little bit embarrassed. 

xoxo

for the audience of two... God and you

Maybe more than 2.

My head feels like it's about to shut down.

I'm scared, of what's going to happen this year.
Whether I'm going to make it for honours. I need to make it for honours.
The paths that i'm taking.
Applying for my permanent residency is going to be another headache.

God. I don't want to think anymore.
I don't want to weigh out the consequences. I don't want to live, calculating my every move.
I might as well not live.

My chest is heavy, like there's something pressing on it. Literally.
I'm not used to wearing my heart on my sleeve.
I don't think I'm about to start.

But I know this. I need You.
And I miss the other you.

entitled: eve

DSCF0026
Originally uploaded by tearsmile

To my dear cousin,

You're amazing, did you know?
You're beautiful beyond words.
So much more than what's on the outside.
So much to do with what's on the inside!
Anyone would be stupid, dumb not to be able to see.

Everytime I look at you,
I thank God He put you there in my life.
I thank God He knew all along,
how much you'd mean to me, when he created you.

This is us , trying to make some music.
Me at the piano, while you. waiting for me to play the melody right.
But when you sing.. Oh when you sing.
Your voice, rings loud and clear in my mind.
It's clear, it's sweet.
In it you bare your soul.
In it your love and yearning for our God is so amazing and real.
You inspire me.
Every single day.
No kiddin!

I pray we never grow apart. I pray we'll always stay this close.
I pray my kids will know your kids.
I pray when we're old and toothless, we'll still look at each other and laugh!
"HAHA see you got no more teeth"
"HAHA see you're a saggy baggy"

You're truly a blessing, hardly in disguise.
A blessing from God that is so obvious to me I'd be stupid if I took you for granted.

So... I LOVE YOUUU..
(I love you for who you are)
(I love you for what you are)
(I love you for how you love me)
I bet you know i do.

DSCF0064
Originally uploaded by tearsmile

I was looking for a reaallll nice photo of you.. and i found this!

beautiful girlll.. sucidal sucidal

sexy eve
Originally uploaded by tearsmile

kiddingg

there are only three parts..
because
i don't know how to consolidate all of them into one.

aha....

i think you look hawt hereee

tell me if you think otherwise and i'll remove it afap.

love,
Xuan.